GIVER:   right neil ... erm at the bottom , right-hand corner of your map ... do you have a missionary camp ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   about ... ... half an inch above it we've got an "x" marking start , have you got that ?
FOLLOWER:   yes , yes .
GIVER:   right , erm ... now i want you to take a route ... about one inch ... directly ... west , if the top of the page is north and the left-hand side of the page is west , i want you to go about one inch west .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   now ... eh , we're heading ... about ... two inches ... southwest .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   eh which should leave you ... t-- ... at the bottom left-hand corner of the missionary camp about an inch diagonally away from it .
FOLLOWER:   got you .
GIVER:   and then ... ab-- about an inch from the bottom of the page as well .
FOLLOWER:   sure okay .
GIVER:   now ... on your map ... on the left-hand bottom corner ... do you have ... a bunch of ... rather nasty looking gorillas ?
FOLLOWER:   no i don't .
GIVER:   well i do and i think it's something we might want to avoid .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   right so erm , my route tells me ... to ... go ... on a slightly dipping downwards line west ... but don't draw it yet 'til i give you the exact instructions .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   this line is dipping slightly down and to the left ... keeping about ... well you'd be better to go to within about half an inch of the bottom of the ... page ... ... so at the bottom left-hand corner you should be about ... an inch from both the left-hand side ... and the bottom of the page ... a-- ... a half an inch ... from the ... a-- , sorry i'll start that again , should ... be an inch ... from the left-hand side of the ... page and half an inch from the bottom side of the page ... at the bottom left-hand corner , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   is this avoiding the banana tree ?
GIVER:   avoiding ... no , avoiding gorillas , have you got ... banana tree ?
FOLLOWER:   i've got a banana tree , but it's probably in much the same place .
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   right , i'll just go to where you say ... it avoids the banana tree anyway .
GIVER:   right okay , so you're heading s-- ... s-- ... west but slightly southerly .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right , stop about an inch from the left-hand side of the page .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   should be at a point about half an inch off the bottom of the page now ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right , now ... ... i think we should ... eh read the banana tree as ... where the gorillas live so .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   erm ... avoiding the banana tree i suppose .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   erm go about , well hang on , have you got a rope bridge on your map ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah ... i do .
GIVER:   right okay , draw a line straight up horizontally level with the rope bridge .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   eh go across the rope bridge ... and just stop at the end of it .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   go directly down half an inch .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   go ... to , have you got a waterfall on your map ... at the right-hand side ?
FOLLOWER:   i do yeah , yeah .
GIVER:   right , go ... to the right and slightly upwards about ... half a centimetre upwards and ... ... about five centimetres ... to the right ... just beside the waterfall .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   so have you got a cloud at your waterfall ?
FOLLOWER:   eh ... s-- .
GIVER:   like ... a ... sort of steam you know vapour .
FOLLOWER:   yeah ... uh-huh .
GIVER:   right well you should be at a point ... horizontally ... level and to the left of that cloud .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right ... head ... s-- ... s-- ... have you got anything between ... the waterfall and the lost steps ?
FOLLOWER:   no ... sod all .
GIVER:   right , go up about ... four inches directly ... up ... so you're at the top right-hand side of the lost steps .
FOLLOWER:   four inches directly up the side ... top right-hand side ?
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   that's not directly up ... on mine .
GIVER:   alright , where are the lost steps in relation to the waterfall ?
FOLLOWER:   they are about ... ... about ... seven inches away .
GIVER:   seven inches ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   well mine aren't slightly nearer mine are only about three inches away .
FOLLOWER:   ah .
GIVER:   so ... if you go up ... four inches , right ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   from where you were directly .
FOLLOWER:   right straight up ?
GIVER:   uh-huh .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   now ... draw ... an ... arc ... s-- ... a slight arc ... as if it was a lar-- a v-- very small part of a large circle ... ... from where you are ... to ... going ... slightly up ... and left ... and curving down ... to , have you got the fallen pillars ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right , to ... the , where are they in relation to the lost steps , i mean where are they in relation to where you are now ?
FOLLOWER:   they ... ... they are exactly ... er a horizontal line away from me .
GIVER:   horizontally level ?
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh , four inches away .
GIVER:   right okay , draw an arc ... between where you are now ... to the bottom right-hand side of the fallen pillars .
FOLLOWER:   an arc as in ... up ... arc or down arc ?
GIVER:   yeah ... up ... up ... to the left round the lost steps ... and curving down between the fallen pillars and where you are just now .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   eh ... at the bottom right-hand side of the fallen pillars .
FOLLOWER:   ah , i can't go round the lost steps from where i am .
GIVER:   sorry , no forget your lost steps , i'm talking about my lost steps .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   sorry , erm .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   if y-- have you got that arc yet ... erm ... are you at the bottom right-hand side of the fallen pillars ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah i've right , yes i am now .
GIVER:   right , erm ... right go ... about ... one and a half inches ... directly west .
FOLLOWER:   right , that's just ... past the fallen pillars ?
GIVER:   yeah , 'til you're at th-- ... ... just beyond the f-- the far the bottom left-hand side of the fallen pillars .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   right we'll just take a quick check here ... are you about two inches from the far left-hand side of the page ?
FOLLOWER:   well two inches .
GIVER:   well about two and a half .
FOLLOWER:   but , yeah ... well roughly .
GIVER:   all right okay , and about ... nearly halfway up page ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right , eh ... right go about ... s-- ... eh ... ... see from where you are just now ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   if that was ... eh ... mm how can i put this ... if that was the bottom of a circle right ... no ... sorry ... the right-hand side of a circle ... right ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   at the middle point ... at the mid point of the ... right-hand side of the circle ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   i want you to draw a circle ... erm , hang on don't draw it yet .
FOLLOWER:   no i'm not drawing yet .
GIVER:   i i'm still i'm still thinking what i'm going to say here , right ... so you're at the right-hand side of the circle ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   i want you to draw the circle ... it's about ... one and a half inches wide .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   eh ... 'til ... draw it downwards and to the left , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   so you're really drawing a semicircle really ... eh .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   and that should leave you ... in a within about ... a centimetre ... of the far left-hand side ... of the page .
FOLLOWER:   yeah is that round have you got flamingoes ?
GIVER:   no .
FOLLOWER:   right , i'll just draw around the flamingoes 'cause they look pretty vicious .
GIVER:   right .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   right now have you got ... ancient ruins ?
FOLLOWER:   that's it , yeah i've well i've got ... i've got a ruined city .
GIVER:   on yours , ruined city , do you have ... ... sort of ... eh bricks and stuff ... and three ... three seagulls above it ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah , and wee seagulls , aye .
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right well ... draw a line from where you are just now ... ... a straight one ... up to ... the ... right beside the ancient ruins left-hand side of the ancient ruins .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... that's it .
GIVER:   eh and now draw a small line about ... half an inch long ... to ... until you're directly ... to the left-hand side of the seagulls within about half a centimetre of them .
FOLLOWER:   so a diagonal line ?
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   just aba-- just a wee short diagonal one ... just a slight deviation .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   now have you got stones at the top left-hand point of your page ?
FOLLOWER:   rock fall .
GIVER:   rock fall ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   mm that doesn't sound too ... chuffed , right okay ... anyway , i've got stones here , is the word rock fall under ... the rocks ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   sort of flat stones ?
FOLLOWER:   eh no , mine's are all sort of ... falling ... no they're all round and falling .
GIVER:   jaggedy , oh right okay , erm well i suppose we've still got to follow this route , right go straight up about ... erm ... mm ... two inches say .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   from where you are just now , where are you in relation to the rock fall just now ?
FOLLOWER:   right horizontal from it .
GIVER:   horizontal from it .
FOLLOWER:   i-- aye .
GIVER:   right okay .
FOLLOWER:   same ... same level as it .
GIVER:   well ... on mine the stones are slightly above where we are just now .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   so ... um ... you go .
FOLLOWER:   go up further ?
GIVER:   so i think we're safe there .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   i think there's two different things but very close .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right go ... east ... directly east about ... two inches ... and ... er , whoa wait a minute , have you got a white mountain there at the top right-hand corner ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right okay , go t-- about two inches to the bottom of the white mountain .
FOLLOWER:   ah i can't do that my ... ... i'm about ... ... mm ... six inches away ... from the white mountain and two inches below it .
GIVER:   two inches below it ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   ehm where are you in relation to the top of the page ... just now ?
FOLLOWER:   where are , uh about ... four inches .
GIVER:   four inches ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   where are you from the left-hand side ?
FOLLOWER:   about ... two .
GIVER:   right there're two bits right , can you keep on going up ... until you're within about an inch and a half ... of the top .
FOLLOWER:   yeah , okay ... yeah done it .
GIVER:   right how close are you to the white mountain now ?
FOLLOWER:   uh about ... four inches away .
GIVER:   four inches right .
FOLLOWER:   just round about the same level .
GIVER:   just go east to the base of the white mountain then .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   eh now heading directly north ... east ... over the ... up ... to the ... peak of the white mountain .
FOLLOWER:   northeast ?
GIVER:   yeah north .
FOLLOWER:   well i'm right underneath the mountain .
GIVER:   are you , oh sorry .
FOLLOWER:   a-- ... directly right at the bottom .
GIVER:   the ... bottom left , y-- scrub that out .
FOLLOWER:   all right i'll scrub out the line .
GIVER:   and we should be at the bottom .
FOLLOWER:   right , right n-- .
GIVER:   left-hand corner of the white mountain .
FOLLOWER:   right okay , then i stop .
GIVER:   right ?
FOLLOWER:   up to the top ?
GIVER:   eh yeah , up to top northeast about two inches or so .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   one and a half maybe , right ... back down ... eh southeast .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   the same distance , now you're going into a ... curve , have you got ... a soft furnishings store ?
FOLLOWER:   no .
GIVER:   well that's directly below the white mountain about an inch so we've got about an inch to play with here .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   so i want you to curve ... round underneath the white mountain ... and then ... when ... when your curve ... is underneath the "n" of mountain .
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   m-- ... make it into a straight line ... eh going left about two inches .
FOLLOWER:   so going left straight ... ... horizontal left two inches ?
GIVER:   yeah , until you're under the base of the white mountain .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   i mean the left-hand side where you were when you started going up it .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   right ... go about ... a c-- a further centimetre .
FOLLOWER:   down ?
GIVER:   left .
FOLLOWER:   acr-- ... right .
GIVER:   now go straight down about ... three inches .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   and ... curve ... round to the right ... just ... just a small curve ... the ... the length of the curve should be about ... two centimetres .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   and .
FOLLOWER:   is it an u-- ... an u-- ... a "u"-turn or a ?
GIVER:   well have you got gazelles on yours ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right okay , curve round the left-hand side of the gazelles .
FOLLOWER:   ah but my gazelles are much further down .
GIVER:   ah right , how far are they below the white mountain ?
FOLLOWER:   uh about ... ... six inches .
GIVER:   right okay , well keep going , i think they're the same as mine .
FOLLOWER:   so ?
GIVER:   just keep going in a straight line don't go into the curve yet until you get to the gazelles .
FOLLOWER:   no , and then curve round the gazelles .
GIVER:   curve round the gazelles ... 'til you're facing right now .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   right go about two inches , and that's us finished .
FOLLOWER:   two inches to the right ?
GIVER:   yeah .