GIVER:    right neil ?
FOLLOWER:   okay right , where are we going ?
GIVER:   start .
FOLLOWER:   where am i starting , oh right i've got it yeah i've found the start .
GIVER:   have you got the start ... just above ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah i've found it uh-huh .
GIVER:   have you got a camera shop below it ... no ?
FOLLOWER:   yes .
GIVER:   you have ?
FOLLOWER:   yes .
GIVER:   right a camera shop , right , head due south ... from that just ... down for about twelve centimetres , have you got a parked van at the bottom ?
FOLLOWER:   so wait a minute i've got to go round the ... i've got ?
GIVER:   go round .
FOLLOWER:   round the ?
GIVER:   go round the left hand side of the camera shop ... in between the edge of the page and the camera shop .
FOLLOWER:   left-hand side of the camera shop right ?
GIVER:   right ?
FOLLOWER:   right , i don't have a parked van at the bottom .
GIVER:   you don't have a parked van , well go down ... aim towards the bottom and ... s-- stay about ... two centimetres up from the bottom of the page .
FOLLOWER:   right , i've got a yacht club on the far right-hand side .
GIVER:   a yacht club , right , so you go down to just bel-- , see where the ... the words yacht club are ?
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   just go ... sort of ... go down towards the bottom of the page and draw a line towards the yacht club for about three centimetres underneath where the ... if you drew a line right across the bottom of the page it wo-- ... the line would end up under yacht club , right ... do you see what i'm ?
FOLLOWER:   are we doing that under ya-- , so i want to go down ?
GIVER:   no , don't g-- don't go along to the yacht club though .
FOLLOWER:   but i want to go straight down to there ?
GIVER:   right , you go ... down the side of the camera shop right for about twelve centimetres ... and do a sort of a "u" shape ... for and the bottom of the "u" shape should be about three centimetres long , right do you know what i'm meaning ?
FOLLOWER:   three centimetres long ?
GIVER:   right .
FOLLOWER:   and a-- ... a-- what i'm doing it at yacht club i'm going i'm going ?
GIVER:   no do-- all right okay , we'll we'll forg-- .
FOLLOWER:   i'm going i'm going right ... i'm going right towards the yacht club ?
GIVER:   we'll forget about the yacht club just now .
FOLLOWER:   no but but that's how far down i want to come ?
GIVER:   yeah ... uh-huh ... uh-huh , down towards aye where the yacht club is right .
FOLLOWER:   right , right okay .
GIVER:   but forget the yacht club 'cause you're nowhere near that you're at the other side of the page .
FOLLOWER:   right i know that yeah , right .
GIVER:   eh so we're going down ... it's ... now you do .
FOLLOWER:   so i take it i'm trying to miss a parked van that's at the bottom of the page here ?
GIVER:   right uh-huh , there's a parked van .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   and you're sort of you're sort of .
FOLLOWER:   i've got it .
GIVER:   you've worked it out already , eh we're doing a "u" shape round the parked van but it's a sort of three cent-- see if you imagine a "u" right ... the stems of the "u" the ... vertical bits are sort of three centimetres between .
FOLLOWER:   see if i go right down if i go right down the bottom and turn right will i miss it ?
GIVER:   yes .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay i'll .
GIVER:   aye , right go right down to the bottom .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   turn right for three centimetres , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   three or four centimetres , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   now you're heading back ... up ... sort of ... two thir-- , have you got allotments ?
FOLLOWER:   allotments , yeah .
GIVER:   right , you're going up to the sort of left-hand top left-hand side of the allotments .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   from ... the bottom , right , that should be a di-- a straight line up the way .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   i'll come along a wee bit just so i can make sure i miss that right okay .
GIVER:   right okay , so you've got a sort of "u" shape so far except it only .
FOLLOWER:   right okay right .
GIVER:   right okay .
FOLLOWER:   got it , mm .
GIVER:   you're up at the top f-- left-hand side of the allotments okay ?
FOLLOWER:   fine .
GIVER:   now ... see your yacht club ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   eh ... go to the left-hand side of the yacht club and up ... about ... ... f-- six centimetres , right ?
FOLLOWER:   right , so i've got to go underneath the flight museum , have you got that ?
GIVER:   no , i've not got a flight museum right .
FOLLOWER:   right , so i've got ?
GIVER:   so you're ... you're going diagonally sort of north ... northeast ... it's not it's it's a sort of two o'clock almost three o'clock ... from the allotments ... over .
FOLLOWER:   what side of the allotments am i at am i at the left-hand side of the allot-- ?
GIVER:   you're at the top , the left-hand side top .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   right , so you're going over the top of the allotments right now .
FOLLOWER:   and down to the yacht club ?
GIVER:   eh no no .
FOLLOWER:   down to ?
GIVER:   you're ... up you're going up sort of two o'clock in between two o'clock and three o'clock .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   you're going up the way ... to the ... see if you draw a line up the left-hand side of the yacht club right the way up the page .
FOLLOWER:   oh right okay .
GIVER:   right ?
FOLLOWER:   so i'm going ?
GIVER:   you're only going about ... i would say about ... two centimetres up from the allotments if you know what i mean , do you see what i mean , but you're .
FOLLOWER:   two centimetres up from the allotments ?
GIVER:   up from the allotments but along about twelve centimetres , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   oh my god .
GIVER:   right are we starting ?
FOLLOWER:   can we do it in straight lines ?
GIVER:   right ... sta-- aye right see .
FOLLOWER:   'cause straight .
GIVER:   you're at the top left-hand side of the allotments are you there ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah right .
GIVER:   right okay , see if you drew a straight line just east ... for about ... twelve thirteen centimetres , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   east ?
GIVER:   right .
FOLLOWER:   right okay right .
GIVER:   just go ... go up about a centimetre from the edge of that so you're sort of going diagonally up that way if you know what i mean ... from ... it's about twelve or thirteen centimetres .
FOLLOWER:   i'm going right , right okay right , i've got that .
GIVER:   not directly east but up a wee bit ... gradually aiming up the way .
FOLLOWER:   yeah right got it ... got it right okay right .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   i'm a-- and i've just come to the left-hand side of the all-- ... the yacht club ?
GIVER:   right , yes .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   but you're about ... thirteen fourteen centimetres up the page ?
FOLLOWER:   f-- not as many as that .
GIVER:   you're not ... oh j-- ?
FOLLOWER:   i'm about six .
GIVER:   oh no , see your see your line from the top left-hand side of the allotments ?
FOLLOWER:   where is it in relation to like the west lake ?
GIVER:   i've not got a west lake .
FOLLOWER:   have you not ?
GIVER:   no .
FOLLOWER:   disused monastery ?
GIVER:   i've got a disused monastery aye .
FOLLOWER:   where are we in relation to that ?
GIVER:   right , in relation to that we're due south about ... ten fif-- ... ten twelve centimetres .
FOLLOWER:   cannae be due south .
GIVER:   have you got a disused , is y-- is your is your d-- ?
FOLLOWER:   we're not due south .
GIVER:   is your disused monastery in the centre of the page ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah right in the centre .
GIVER:   right ... hold on have you got a sar-- , right start from again start the beginning .
FOLLOWER:   where's your yacht club ?
GIVER:   where's my yacht club .
FOLLOWER:   far right ?
GIVER:   away over at the bottom .
FOLLOWER:   right , okay .
GIVER:   right at the bottom right-hand side .
FOLLOWER:   okay right .
GIVER:   we've got the same map haven't we , it's my fault i know what .
FOLLOWER:   paul this is ... this is lousy .
GIVER:   i know what you're meaning .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   right , can we go back to the allotments ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah right we're back at the allotments okay .
GIVER:   are you at the top , you're at the ... you're just at the side of the allotments right ?
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   right , see the allotments , just ... draw a line right over the top of that east ... right .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   right over ... towar-- ... to stay about ... six centimetres from the edge of the page ... right ... east ... just go straight east .
FOLLOWER:   right okay right .
GIVER:   forget about getting it up a wee bit , right ?
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh ... okay .
GIVER:   right , so that's where we are ... we're about i would say we're ... if you ... you could ... we're about six centimetres from the edge of the page from the right-hand edge of the page and about six or seven centimetres up from the bottom as well , right ?
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   correct ?
FOLLOWER:   right fine ... right .
GIVER:   right , oh dear , draw ... draw a line from there , you've got a disused monastery ... right ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   you're going from where you are just now ... just straight up ... and round the top of the monastery like a wee hill ... over the top of the monastery ... right ... going from the right-hand side of the monastery over to the left-hand side .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay , right fine .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   got you .
GIVER:   now you're coming down and you're doing the exact same hump again except invert it ... and you're going up , have you got an alpine garden ?
FOLLOWER:   have i hell .
GIVER:   you've not , right .
FOLLOWER:   no , oh yeah i do ... yeah i do .
GIVER:   you do have an alpine garden ?
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   well you're doing a sort of hump ... you're just going up the side of the alpine garden , right , up the left-hand side ... sorry .
FOLLOWER:   up the left-hand side of it ?
GIVER:   the left-hand side of the alpine garden , so you should have .
FOLLOWER:   so i'm going across underneath the alpine garden ?
GIVER:   you're , right uh-huh , you're going across to underneath the left-hand side of the alpine garden then you're going straight up , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   just to the top of ... just to the top left-hand bit of the alpine garden .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   have you got a youth hostel ?
FOLLOWER:   no .
GIVER:   you've not , right , the youth hostel is about it's a couple of centimetres to the left eh to the right and a couple of centimetres above the alpine garden right so it's very c-- , d-- .
FOLLOWER:   couple of centimetres to the right and a couple of centimetres above ?
GIVER:   above right .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   so it's sort of , now you're going ... eh ... i would say about ... you're at the left-hand side of the alpine garden go across about two centimetres ... right ... just east .
FOLLOWER:   the left-hand s-- ?
GIVER:   right , you're ... you're at the top left of the alpine garden ?
FOLLOWER:   right okay i'm here right .
GIVER:   or have you drawn another line ?
FOLLOWER:   i've got it no i'm at the top .
GIVER:   right .
FOLLOWER:   top left of the alpine garden .
GIVER:   top left of the alpine garden , draw a line about two centimetres right ... but just directly across , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   so i'm coming into about the middle of the alpine garden ?
GIVER:   yea-- eh ... uh-huh , over to the , you see the wee two two wee bricks at the edge of the alpine garden ?
FOLLOWER:   there's two .
GIVER:   there's two wee , two i don't know what they are is it bricks or is it grass ... right whatever it is ... och well it's two centimetres along anyway yes .
FOLLOWER:   about , to the middle of the alpine garden ?
GIVER:   aye , just a wee bit to the right of middle .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   sort of ... two thirds of the way along .
FOLLOWER:   right got it .
GIVER:   eh right ?
FOLLOWER:   got you .
GIVER:   and then you're going up ... about ... thr-- four centimetres st-- ... directly ... north ... right about four centimetres , okay , so you should be from the you should be ... round about ... above the letter "e" or "n" of garden ... eh about ... six centimetres or something is that right ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah right okay fine yeah .
GIVER:   okay .
FOLLOWER:   we're not we're not bad we're a wee bit .
GIVER:   eh a wee bit .
FOLLOWER:   eh ... a wee bit a wee bit inside it .
GIVER:   no it's it's my fault , eh right so you're up there eh go right for about three centimetres .
FOLLOWER:   right , th-- ... to underneath the parked van ?
GIVER:   eh .
FOLLOWER:   under the parked ?
GIVER:   underneath the pa-- ... uh-huh ... underneath the parked van , go th-- ... go right .
FOLLOWER:   what what letter am i under ?
GIVER:   you should be under the letter "d" .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   right ... under the letter "d" .
FOLLOWER:   right , i'm under "d" .
GIVER:   right , have you got a telephone box ?
FOLLOWER:   ehm yeah , but it's away down on the right-hand side .
GIVER:   police , right okay , you're doing a massive diagonal sort of south ... east , right ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   right to the bottom right to the letter "t" from where you are .
FOLLOWER:   to the letter "t" ?
GIVER:   to the letter "t" of telephone box .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   right , and then you're just going right ... drawing a line right underneath as if you're underlining telephone box ... ... and back up the right-hand side up the way now i'll tell you about that in a minute .
FOLLOWER:   up right .
GIVER:   right ... so you're going up , have you got a thatched m-- ... thatched mud hut ?
FOLLOWER:   i've got no thatched mud huts anywhere .
GIVER:   you've not , there's a thatched mud hut ... about .
FOLLOWER:   apart from at home .
GIVER:   you've got a mud hut .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   you've got a mud hut about six centimetres above the telephone box ... directly above it , right ?
FOLLOWER:   directly above it okay .
GIVER:   eh so what you're doing is sort of drawing .
FOLLOWER:   so i'm missing it then ?
GIVER:   if you c-- if you can imagine an "s" round the thatched mud hut and the telephone box right .
FOLLOWER:   oh wow .
GIVER:   if y-- ... if y-- f-- oh forget .
FOLLOWER:   oh groovy .
GIVER:   you've not got the mud huts ?
FOLLOWER:   i've got it yeah , i've got a level crossing , have you got a les-- a level crossing ?
GIVER:   right , i have not no ... i've not .
FOLLOWER:   right so i've got to miss ... i ?
GIVER:   right hold on where are you just now ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   you're at the bottom of ... ... "x" ... oh right are you up a bit ?
FOLLOWER:   i i've just come up a wee bit .
GIVER:   you've come up a wee bit , well i would go up from the "x" right ... you're going up about three centimetres , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   to the top of the telephone box ?
GIVER:   to the top of the telephone box right .
FOLLOWER:   right fine .
GIVER:   and then you're sort of going ... diagonally across ... about ... eh i would say exactly sort of ... t-- what's it north i don't know what's the one northwest .
FOLLOWER:   no-- , northwest uh-huh .
GIVER:   if you go exactly northwest for about ... three centimetres four centimetres ... four centimetres right .
FOLLOWER:   yeah , right .
GIVER:   exactly northwest for four centimetres ... you should end up ... above the letter ... round about ... "t" or "e" of telephone box about ... s-- ... eight ... centimetres above it , is that right ... see where i am ?
FOLLOWER:   okay i've got it yeah .
GIVER:   "t" or "e" , then go , have you got the east lake ... up at the top ?
FOLLOWER:   i've got the east lake yeah .
GIVER:   you have got the east lake , have you got a finish , you haven't got a fini-- ?
FOLLOWER:   no i don't no .
GIVER:   right okay , eh ... where are you just now , you're at th-- oh you're beside my ... thatched mud hut , eh you're going up just go directly north ... to the side of the east lake ... under the letter "k" "e" you know ... "k" or "e" ... in east lake .
FOLLOWER:   so i .
GIVER:   just to the edge of the east lake right .
FOLLOWER:   am i doing an "s" round telephone ?
GIVER:   an "f" ?
FOLLOWER:   an "s" , i've only got half an "s" .
GIVER:   an "s" , uh-huh , yeah ... aye , you're not going the other you're aye .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   you're only doing .
FOLLOWER:   so i'm going up towards "k" or "e" ?
GIVER:   "k" or "e" , just ... directly north ... to "k" or "e" .
FOLLOWER:   right okay i can ... ... right .
GIVER:   and you're about half a centimetre away from the edge of the east lake the bottom edge of it .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   and then i would say you're about ... three cen-- four centimetres , you're following the ... edge of the east lake ... right up for about a centimetre beyond the left-hand edge of it , see where it gets pointy ?
FOLLOWER:   so i'm going up i'm going up the l-- ... so i'm going over to the left here ?
GIVER:   yes , you're going over to the ... over to the left over to the corner .
FOLLOWER:   a-- and over to the the corn-- ?
GIVER:   and about a centimetre beyond the corner keeping the same contour as the lake same edge of it , right ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   and that's the finish ... that's it ... about a centimetre beyond the edge of that .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   sorry about the mess here ... in your diagram .
FOLLOWER:   we're there , so the parked van didn't come in ?
GIVER:   eh the parked van was nothing to do with it .
FOLLOWER:   and the picket fence ?
GIVER:   eh the picket fence no that was another red herring .
FOLLOWER:   and the west lake ?
GIVER:   eh the west i've not got a west lake , your yacht club should be absolutely .
FOLLOWER:   the yacht club's away out of it as well yeah ... okay .
GIVER:   right that's okay that's good , i think we're roughly in the same area .