GIVER:    um ... are you at the start , um ... move ... downwards on the map ... so that the ... ... telephone kiosk ... you're to the left of the telephone kiosk .
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   and continue to move downwards ... ... until ... you are ... para-- ... level with the stone circle .
FOLLOWER:   i haven't got a stone circle .
GIVER:   you don't have a stone circle ?
FOLLOWER:   no .
GIVER:   okay , do you have a stone circle on the map at all ?
FOLLOWER:   um ... i have a ruined monastery .
GIVER:   fine , um ... do you have any obstacle ... below the telephone kiosk ?
FOLLOWER:   a broken gate ... and a meadow .
GIVER:   a brok-- , a broken gate , directly below the telephone kiosk ?
FOLLOWER:   oh not directly below no .
GIVER:   do you have anything directly below the telephone kiosk no , move downwards .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   until ... move ... completely ... move downwards until you're almost at the bottom of the paper .
FOLLOWER:   right , will i not fall over broken stones ?
GIVER:   uh-huh , are you downwards until you're almost at the bottom of the paper ?
FOLLOWER:   yep .
GIVER:   then move ... right ... along ... ... not comple-- ... for ... if you want it in ... inches about ... four inches .
FOLLOWER:   have you got a meadow ?
GIVER:   yeah , but that's farther along , not that far along .
FOLLOWER:   not that far along , to about the middle ?
GIVER:   no no no no ... no , move ... when you have gone down from the telephone kiosk and you're almost at the bottom of the paper .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm mmhmm .
GIVER:   move in inches about three inches along the map .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   now move , do you have a farmer's gate ... upwards from where you are at the moment ?
FOLLOWER:   mm yeah , it's broken .
GIVER:   broken ... yeah , but it says farmer's gate or does it say broken gate ?
FOLLOWER:   no , it says broken gate aye .
GIVER:   okay ... fine , move ... upwards ... an-- ... so that you're to the left of the broken gate .
FOLLOWER:   i'm too far along here .
GIVER:   and just level to the gatepost .
FOLLOWER:   so you want me to the left of the gate ?
GIVER:   to the gate yeah .
FOLLOWER:   i'll have to go back a bit now then .
GIVER:   yeah , well ... i wasn't sure about the distance .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   okay , now you are ... at the ... left of the gatepost ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   and ... ... if you see what i mean standing at the top of it ... ... yeah ... ehm ?
FOLLOWER:   do you want me to go through the gate ?
GIVER:   no .
FOLLOWER:   oh ... okay .
GIVER:   ah if as long as you're ... um next to the gatepost to the left that's fine .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   um ... now , on this map ... if you ... were to ... ... move upwards slightly ... and to the right ... and then ... once you'd moved to the right ... 'til about three quarters along the paper .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   and then move upwards .
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   you would come to a ruined monastery .
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   is that the same ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah , have you got a youth hostel ?
GIVER:   no .
FOLLOWER:   oh .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   well , if i go up and right i come to a youth hostel before i come to a ruined monastery .
GIVER:   yeah , well it doesn't exist on mine ... so .
FOLLOWER:   is that okay , i can go via the .
GIVER:   you just have to move round okay .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   you just ... you just have to move round okay ... ... now move , right , i'll explain what to do before you do it , but on your map you'll have to avoid the youth hostel .
FOLLOWER:   why ?
GIVER:   because i don't have one on mine .
FOLLOWER:   well , can i not go through it anyway , it's not going to eat me .
GIVER:   don't you think ?
FOLLOWER:   it might .
GIVER:   anyway , okay eh , i'll just ... relay mine , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   am i supposed to go through this gate ?
GIVER:   now you're at , you're at the broken gate ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah , do i ?
GIVER:   don't move thr-- ... through the broken gate .
FOLLOWER:   why not , do i have to climb the wall ?
GIVER:   p-- ... 'cause i don't .
FOLLOWER:   oh .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   so , wha-- what does your obstacle look like ?
FOLLOWER:   what obstacle ?
GIVER:   the gate , what's it look like ?
FOLLOWER:   no gate , well , it's like a wall and then it's like a gate which is broken .
GIVER:   so it's ... it's ... basically two posts with a broken gate ?
FOLLOWER:   if i don't go through the gate i have to , uh-huh .
GIVER:   okay , and you're standing to the left of the left-hand post ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm , by the wall .
GIVER:   yep ... ... well , move up ... until ... you're slightly clear of the gatepost if you see what i mean .
FOLLOWER:   right , shall i jump over the wall ?
GIVER:   no , i didn't realise that there was a wall , mine doesn't have a wall .
FOLLOWER:   oh mine does .
GIVER:   okay , well just .
FOLLOWER:   jump over the wall .
GIVER:   basically jump over the wall yeah .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... ... jumped .
GIVER:   okay , now move ... right .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   and move along ... to about three quarters along the way of the paper .
FOLLOWER:   three quarters , uh .
GIVER:   now , on my map if you were to move straight up until ... slightly higher than halfway up the paper .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... i'll go that side ... okay , mmhmm , here's a ruined monastery .
GIVER:   there's a ruined monastery .
FOLLOWER:   okey-dokey .
GIVER:   now , move ... around the ruined monastery to the left .
FOLLOWER:   to the left ... mmhmm .
GIVER:   and then move , do you have any obstacles between the monastery ... ... and the lake ?
FOLLOWER:   um not directly no .
GIVER:   the lake is slightly lo-- the lake is lower down the lake is ... lower down than the monastery is .
FOLLOWER:   is it ?
GIVER:   it is on this one yeah .
FOLLOWER:   oh well ... my lake's in the top right-hand corner .
GIVER:   oh i see , i have a west lake ... which is on the east actually but never mind .
FOLLOWER:   oh ... i have an east lake .
GIVER:   yeah ... ... okay , do you have a stile ?
FOLLOWER:   yes .
GIVER:   you do have a stile ?
FOLLOWER:   i have a stile .
GIVER:   now is the s-- ?
FOLLOWER:   it's above the monastery .
GIVER:   it's ?
FOLLOWER:   above the monastery .
GIVER:   it's above and to the left of the monastery ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   okay , now move ... over the top of the monastery if you see what i mean in relation to the paper .
FOLLOWER:   oh i've just moved underneath .
GIVER:   no no well , go back and move over the top .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... right ... ... okey-dokey .
GIVER:   and then move left and upwards 'til you come to the stile , i'm not sure how that's going to ... ... aff-- ... affect your lake .
FOLLOWER:   what on a diagonal ?
GIVER:   well , you could move aro-- ... you could move around ... ... and ... down ... in a sort of circular ... if you like ... you don't have to move diagonally .
FOLLOWER:   well , it's the easiest way .
GIVER:   yeah i suppose .
FOLLOWER:   shorter .
GIVER:   i suppose , don't tire yourself out ... erm , now move , directly upwards ... until you're clear of the stile ... much the same way as you did with the gate .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm , jumping over the fence .
GIVER:   yeah , and then move , do you have any obstacles between the stile and the dead tree , do you have a dead tree ?
FOLLOWER:   i have ... no .
GIVER:   no ... r-- , in relation to the .
FOLLOWER:   i have a dut-- , dutch elm ... if that's any good .
GIVER:   so where are you at the moment ?
FOLLOWER:   i'm above the stile .
GIVER:   above the stile that's fine , now , if ... ... level with the stile ... on the extreme right-hand side ... ... there's a dead tree .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm , well , i've got a dutch elm .
GIVER:   well , that's dead isn't it ?
FOLLOWER:   not necessarily .
GIVER:   why ?
FOLLOWER:   it might not have had dutch elm disease .
GIVER:   it wouldn't be a dutch elm then .
FOLLOWER:   okay , yes , i've got a tree .
GIVER:   fine ... okay you've got a tree , now , i'll just have to relay the route on the map , okay ?
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   move left ... from where you are at the moment so that you're above the stile ... but ... stop when you get ... past the stile .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   okay ... ehm .
FOLLOWER:   i'm above the stile now .
GIVER:   you're above the stile , now move in a ... move right so that ... when you s-- ... so that you stop ... just after the stile ... ... finishes , ehm .
FOLLOWER:   i'm on the right of the stile anyway .
GIVER:   you're bloody useless , are you ?
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   told you , why aren't you on the left of it ?
FOLLOWER:   well , i didn't go to the left of it .
GIVER:   well , you ought to have gone to the left of it .
FOLLOWER:   well , you didn't say .
GIVER:   okay , i'm saying now .
FOLLOWER:   so , you want me to go to the left and then back to the right again ?
GIVER:   yeah , go to the left .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   okay , then move upwards and to the right .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   and stop ... when the stile stops .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   i'm in exactly the same place as i was before when you going to t-- .
GIVER:   yeah i know , but but at least you've gone round the stile .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   and there might be a monster ... who inhabits the right-hand of the stile you don't know .
FOLLOWER:   oh , well , i've missed it now .
GIVER:   now ... ... right , now move ... straight up ... until you're about three quarters .
FOLLOWER:   what about this dead tree ?
GIVER:   well , we're coming to that in a minute .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... right .
GIVER:   so , move three quarters ... upwards ... in relation .
FOLLOWER:   three quarters of what upwards ?
GIVER:   to the entire ... map .
FOLLOWER:   well , i'm about three quarters upwards anyway .
GIVER:   well .
FOLLOWER:   a bit further upwards .
GIVER:   don't move very much then .
FOLLOWER:   have you got a popular tourist spot ?
GIVER:   a poplar ?
FOLLOWER:   popular tourist spot .
GIVER:   no .
FOLLOWER:   oh ... i have , shall i miss it out ?
GIVER:   well ... ... well , if the maps may not be the same presumably you're ... we're going to have to avoid these obstacles .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   yeah ?
FOLLOWER:   have you got a great viewpoint ?
GIVER:   yeah , i've actually got two great viewpoints .
FOLLOWER:   oh i've only got one that's not fair , how far do i walk from where ?
GIVER:   you can have my map if you want two i'm i'm not very keen on great viewpoints .
FOLLOWER:   okay , so do i go near the great viewpoint or not very far ?
GIVER:   um ... ah , so the great viewpoint's in the way ?
FOLLOWER:   well , it's about sort of four inches up .
GIVER:   four inches up and slightly to the left ?
FOLLOWER:   well , very very slightly , are we going to go to this tree afterwards ?
GIVER:   uh-huh .
FOLLOWER:   well , can i not go straight down because otherwise i'll have to go over the ?
GIVER:   where are you at the moment ?
FOLLOWER:   above the stile .
GIVER:   above the stile , on this map there's a ... a sort of a ... bump basically ... in ... in the route .
FOLLOWER:   bump ... like a ... like a hill ?
GIVER:   yeah , no no no , well like a hill except ... yeah i suppose .
FOLLOWER:   yeah ... okay so .
GIVER:   what i mean by that is there's a bump in the route there isn't a bump on the map .
FOLLOWER:   okay , i'll go ... right , i've gone i've gone further up .
GIVER:   right , now ... move ... ... right and down ... ... in a sort of circular sweep until you get to the dead tree .
FOLLOWER:   right , to the tree , yay .
GIVER:   and then move around a-- ... and .
FOLLOWER:   what side of the tree do you want me to be on ?
GIVER:   oh on the right side of the tree i want you to finish up on the right side of the tree .
FOLLOWER:   right okay .
GIVER:   then move ... up and left and up ... so that you're to the right of the great viewpoint when you finish .
FOLLOWER:   okay .
GIVER:   assuming that your great viewpoint's in the same place as mine , ah .
FOLLOWER:   oh i've got to be on the left hang on , what ?
GIVER:   i have two great viewpoints .
FOLLOWER:   oh .
GIVER:   okay ... ... tuba ... ... ehm , go back ... until you're right of the dead tree .
FOLLOWER:   right i'm by the tree .
GIVER:   right , do you have a lake ... ... to the top ?
FOLLOWER:   i've an east lake .
GIVER:   to the top that's fine , now , below the east lake .
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh .
GIVER:   there's a great viewpoint as well .
FOLLOWER:   well i've got a rocket laun-- ... launch pad .
GIVER:   well , that ... probably .
FOLLOWER:   same thing .
GIVER:   similar , yeah , fine , so if you can move , where is the rocket launch pad in relation to the lake ?
FOLLOWER:   erm ... it's ... beneath the lake on the ... right side .
GIVER:   beneath the lake on the right side ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   mm , how can it be beneath the lake and on the right ?
FOLLOWER:   well , it's beneath the lake ... and a bit ... on the right ... edge of the lake rather than on the left edge of the lake .
GIVER:   nope , oh i see , oh .
FOLLOWER:   is that not it ?
GIVER:   well , the great viewpoint that i have is ... ... below the lake ... and ... if there was a midline through the lake it would be ... probably s-- s-- very slightly to the left of the midline .
FOLLOWER:   oh ... oh ... ... ... okay ... well , if i just go up say ... about ... by the edge of the lake ... where it's .
GIVER:   if you go upwards ... and stop below the ... bottom of the lake ... ... so that you're about ... ... two thirds along the length of the lake .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm , right , okay .
GIVER:   okay ?
FOLLOWER:   right .
GIVER:   now , if you move ... left and along the bottom of the lake ... until the lake finishes .
FOLLOWER:   yeah hang on i've done this wrong .
GIVER:   no , yeah .
FOLLOWER:   right , i was underneath the tree .
GIVER:   uh-huh .
FOLLOWER:   and i've done a very squiggly line .
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   ehm , and i went ... up ... and along left and then up again .
GIVER:   you went up ?
FOLLOWER:   and a-- ... up ... and along and up .
GIVER:   up ... along to the left and then up ?
FOLLOWER:   uh-huh , and i'm about ... two thirds ... along the lake .
GIVER:   along ... the lake , from the left of the lake ... two thirds along ?
FOLLOWER:   and , no , two thirds along from the right .
GIVER:   i see , no ... you want to be two thirds ... ... along from the left .
FOLLOWER:   okay , so after the rocket launch ?
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   okay , and then where do i go up to the lake and along ... left ?
GIVER:   now ... wh-- , where you are ... from where you are at the moment ... if you were .
FOLLOWER:   making a right pig's ear of this map , okay .
GIVER:   if you move , left and along the base of the lake .
FOLLOWER:   okay ... all along ... right .
GIVER:   until the lake finishes .
FOLLOWER:   well , the lake's quite long .
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   right ... okay .
GIVER:   now , you ought to be ... standing ... at the .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm , do you want me to go down a bit ?
GIVER:   no , you ought to be standing , if the lake ... continued down ... ... if the ... edge of the lake wasn't curved ?
FOLLOWER:   mm ... upwards ?
GIVER:   yeah .
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   then you ought to be standing at the extreme left edge of the lake .
FOLLOWER:   yeah .
GIVER:   you are ?
FOLLOWER:   mmhmm .
GIVER:   well , that's you finished .
FOLLOWER:   oh .